Facts and Feelings: The Power of Objectivity

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Stephen R. Covey

Imagine you're standing on a mountaintop. The sky is clear, the air crisp, and the view stretches for miles. You feel calm, grounded, and at peace. Then suddenly, clouds roll in, the wind howls, and a storm approaches.

Most people panic in this situation—they run, flail, curse their luck. But a seasoned mountaineer doesn't waste time on frustration. They act. They find shelter, secure their footing, and wait for the storm to pass.

The Stoics would say this is exactly how we should relate to our emotions.

Emotions Are Weather, Not Warnings

Life throws emotional storms at us—frustration, disappointment, anxiety, anger. But just like a mountain storm, these emotions aren't personal. They have no agenda. They simply are.

The real question is: do you let the storm sweep you away, or do you become the seasoned mountaineer, steady and rational in the face of the wind?

Objectivity allows us to do just that. It teaches us to step back from our feelings, to see clearly, and to choose a wise response.

Why Objectivity Matters

Many of us go through life at the mercy of our emotions. We feel anger and assume we must act on it. We feel anxiety and believe something is wrong. We feel hurt and decide someone must be to blame.

But what if feelings are just signals? What if the real power lies not in the emotion itself, but in how we interpret it?

Stoicism teaches that our initial impressions are just that—impressions. The emotions that follow come not from the event itself, but from our judgments about the event. We tell ourselves stories to make sense of those impressions, and often, those stories are distorted.

Epictetus said it best:
“Don't let the force of the impression when it first hits you knock you off your feet. Just say to it: hold on a moment. Let me see who you are and what you represent.”

Practicing the Pause

Let’s test this out. Imagine you text a friend something important and hours go by without a response. Your mind jumps to conclusions:
Did I say something wrong? Are they mad at me? Do they even care?

Your brain becomes a drama queen, spiraling into worst-case scenarios.

But objectivity asks: What are the facts?
Maybe they’re just busy. Maybe their phone died. Maybe they saw the message and plan to respond later.

As Marcus Aurelius reminds us:
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Your emotions aren’t reality. They’re just interpretations, often influenced by fear, bias, or past wounds.

Zooming Out: The View from Above

One of Stoicism’s most powerful tools is “the view from above.”
Imagine your life from a bird’s-eye perspective. Like a historian documenting events, not a character caught in the chaos.

Instead of, “My friend is ignoring me, and it hurts,” the objective view is:
“At 2:17 p.m., a message was sent. At 7:45 p.m., there was no reply.”

No drama. No assumptions. Just facts.

Let’s say you blank out during a presentation. Your internal narrative spirals:
I blew it. Everyone thinks I’m a failure. My career is over.

But objectivity offers a different lens:
“You forgot a point. There was a pause. Someone noticed. Life moved on.”

As Seneca said:
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

Objectivity in Difficult Conversations

When emotions run high, especially in conflict, objectivity becomes crucial. Instead of taking things personally or trying to “win,” Stoicism encourages us to seek truth.

Marcus Aurelius said:
“If anyone can refute me... I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone.”

Approach difficult conversations with curiosity, not defensiveness. Assume good intent. Remember that both your emotions and theirs are coloring perspectives.

Clarity doesn’t mean coldness. It means compassion without bias. It means seeing the human behind the disagreement.

Training Objectivity Daily

Knowing all of this is one thing. Practicing it is another. Here are three ways to develop more objectivity:

1. Ask: What Would a Friend Say?

When you're caught in emotional thinking, imagine your best friend was going through the same thing. What would you say to them?
Now say that to yourself.

2. The “Will This Matter in a Year?” Test

Most things won’t. If it’s not going to matter in the long run, don’t let it steal today’s peace.

3. The Marcus Test

Before reacting emotionally, imagine having to justify your reaction to Marcus Aurelius himself.
Would he be impressed that you raged over a wrong coffee order or stewed over a rude comment online?

Probably not. So why not spare yourself the unnecessary turmoil?

The Calm Within the Storm

Let’s return to that mountain.

The storm will come. That’s life. But with objectivity, you become the eye of the storm—calm, steady, unmoved.

You don't suppress your emotions. You understand them.
You don’t react blindly. You respond wisely.

As Seneca reminds us:
“A man who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.”

So next time emotions rise, pause. Step back. Observe.
Separate fact from fear.
And choose your response—not out of impulse, but out of wisdom.

Final Thought

Objectivity is a superpower. It's how we reclaim our inner peace, even when the world is chaotic. It's how we become unshakable—not because we don’t feel, but because we understand what we feel and what it means.

When the storm comes, don’t run.
Stand firm.
Observe it.
Choose your response.
And become stronger.