Feeling Stuck? How to Break Free and Move Forward
Do you ever feel like you’re just… stuck? Not falling apart, not in crisis, but not really moving forward either. Life feels flat. Things are “fine,” but they’re not fulfilling. That’s where I found myself not too long ago—what the psychologists now call languishing.
Languishing: When Life Feels Meh
Languishing is that in-between state where nothing is terrible, but nothing excites you either. You’re comfortable, but not satisfied. You drift through your days, maybe binging Netflix or scrolling social media, but deep down you know you’re not making progress. It’s not painful enough to force action, but not joyful enough to feel alive.
My Wake-Up Call
I realized I was stuck working for someone else’s private practice. I wasn’t depressed, but I wasn’t pursuing the things I truly cared about. I wanted to build something of my own. Some of this came from years of living under rigid systems—first as a police officer, then as a child investigator, and later inside agency-style mental health facilities that were structured to the point of suffocation. The pendulum had swung too far in one direction, and I needed balance. What I craved more than anything was the flexibility to be authentic as a clinician, to work with clients who were the right fit, and to have a schedule that provided fair reimbursement while still leaving me with enough energy for my partner and the people in my inner circle.
Change Isn’t Failure
At first, leaving that structure felt like giving up. But the truth is, sometimes you need to change your environment to change your mindset. Stoicism reminds us that while perspective matters, we’re also responsible for the choices we make about our circumstances. Recognizing what’s in our control sometimes means altering our external situation—not just tolerating it.
Why We Resist Change
Humans are paradoxical: we crave variety, but we hate disruption. We stay in jobs we dislike because the effort to leave feels overwhelming. We stay in relationships that drain us because the thought of change feels heavier than the discomfort we already know. Comfort keeps us stuck. Progress takes effort. Like pushing a heavy rock, it feels impossible at first—but once it moves, momentum makes it easier.
The Trap of Self-Doubt
What really held me back wasn’t the external systems—it was self-doubt. Even with skills, experience, and wins under my belt, I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough. I dismissed my achievements as luck and let imposter syndrome stop me from taking action. This is the danger of a warped perspective: we start seeing setbacks as proof of failure instead of opportunities to grow. Stoicism reminds us that perspective is a choice—but it takes discipline to choose wisely.
Your Body Shapes Your Mind
Another truth I rediscovered: how we feel physically affects how we think mentally. When you’re tired, run down, or drinking too much, it’s harder to stay positive or motivated. Taking care of your health isn’t just about fitness—it’s about creating a foundation where your mind can thrive. Small things like consistent sleep, regular workouts, and eating well can change how you see everything else.
Small Actions Beat Stagnation
The fastest way to stay stuck is to do nothing. The fastest way to get unstuck is to take action—even a small one. Write a paragraph. Send an email. Go for a walk. Action breaks inertia. And when you repeat small steps consistently, they stack up and build momentum. Consistency is the antidote to complacency.
Sometimes Big Change Is Necessary
Small actions matter, but sometimes they’re not enough. Sometimes you need to shake things up in a big way. For me, that meant leaving behind the old systems and building something of my own. For you, it might mean walking away from a draining job, setting boundaries in a relationship, or taking a leap you’ve been putting off. Big changes can be scary, but they often create the space for real growth.
Redefining Success and Failure
Looking back, I’ve come to see “failure” differently. Failure isn’t falling short—it’s just unmet expectations. And since expectations are within our control, we can choose to set better ones. Instead of seeing past choices as mistakes, I now view them as training grounds. The past doesn’t define the future. Every day offers new choices.
Action Is the Antidote to Anxiety
If you’re stuck, here’s the bottom line: action is the cure. Don’t wait for perfect conditions. Don’t overthink your next move. Just do something—big or small—that nudges you forward. Take care of your body, build small habits, and remember that each day is another chance to try again. Progress isn’t about giant leaps. It’s about consistent steps, guided by wisdom, courage, and self-compassion.
Final thought: Being stuck isn’t a life sentence. It’s a signal. A chance to pay attention, take action, and start moving forward again.
