Wise Mind After Tragedy

Dialectics, Fear, and Why Public Thinking Collapses

I want to start by naming the framework explicitly, because without it this entire conversation falls apart.

This article is grounded in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT is built on one core idea that most people resist, especially under stress:

Two things can be true at the same time, even when they appear to contradict each other, and neither one cancels the other out.

That principle is called dialectics.

Dialectics is not compromise.
It is not balance.
It is not “both sides are kind of right.”

Dialectics means refusing to collapse reality into a single truth when the situation actually requires holding more than one.

Tragedy is where dialectics either show up—or disappear completely.

Why This Matters After Tragedy

After a death, especially one involving authority, fear, and violence, people do not argue facts first. They argue meaning.

And under fear, the human mind pushes toward single-truth explanations:

If someone ends up dead, the system must be corrupt.
If someone didn’t comply perfectly, then whatever happened was inevitable.
If fear was involved, responsibility disappears.
If the law was broken, fear no longer matters.

Each of these statements contains a partial truth.
Each of them becomes dangerous the moment it’s treated as the whole truth.

These positions feel stabilizing. They feel morally clean. They are also inaccurate.

DBT exists because human beings repeatedly do this under stress: we reduce complexity in order to regulate fear.

Wise Mind is the discipline of refusing that reduction.

DBT’s Three States of Mind

DBT describes three states of mind: Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind, and Wise Mind. These are not personality traits. They are modes of processing.

Emotion Mind

Emotion Mind is not “having emotions.”
Emotion Mind is emotion deciding.

In Emotion Mind:

• fear drives conclusions

• urgency replaces sequencing

• certainty replaces probability

• narratives replace analysis

Emotion Mind answers one question:

What feels true right now?

After tragedy, Emotion Mind dominates by default. That is not a failure of character. It is neurobiology.

Reasonable Mind

Reasonable Mind is facts, timelines, rules, thresholds, and logic.

In Reasonable Mind:

• order matters

• standards matter

• causality matters

• outcomes are separated from intentions

Reasonable Mind answers a different question:

What happened, in what order, according to what rules?

Reasonable Mind alone becomes rigid. It can miss shock, grief, fear, and human limitation. It can apply standards correctly and still miss what the situation requires.

Wise Mind

Wise Mind is where most people get confused.

Wise Mind is not halfway between Emotion Mind and Reasonable Mind.
Wise Mind is the dialectical integration of both.

Wise Mind answers a third question:

Given the facts and the emotional reality, what is the most accurate and effective response?

Wise Mind:

• holds grief and agency

• holds fear and standards

• holds explanation and accountability

• holds human limitation and consequence

Wise Mind does not resolve tension.
It contains it.

That containment is uncomfortable. It is also necessary.

Why Fear Collapses Dialectics

Fear is not a secondary factor here. Fear is the central mechanism.

Fear narrows attention.
Fear reduces tolerance for ambiguity.
Fear pushes the brain toward certainty instead of accuracy.

From a neuroscience standpoint, when fear is activated:

• the amygdala increases dominance

• the prefrontal cortex becomes less active

• sequencing degrades

• probability assessment weakens

• global conclusions feel correct

This happens during the event and after it.

After a death, fear remains elevated. The nervous system looks for meaning that restores a sense of safety.

Here is the key point:

Under fear, the brain prefers a single, absolute explanation over a complex, accurate one.

That preference is what destroys dialectics.

Here is an example of what that collapse looks like in real time:

“Obey or die. Unaccountable armed government agents acting with impunity.”

That statement is not analysis.
It is fear language.

It takes a specific incident, involving specific people, behaviors, and conditions, and converts it into a universal rule. That move feels clarifying when fear is present because it reduces uncertainty.

It is also the moment dialectics disappear.

Dialectical thinking would require holding two truths at the same time:

Fear of unchecked authority can be reasonable
and
a single incident does not define every encounter or erase context.

Emotion Mind cannot hold both, so it collapses them into one.

Once threat circuitry is dominant, the prefrontal cortex contributes less sequencing, probability assessment, and nuance. Certainty increases. Accuracy decreases.

Why Reasonable Mind Gets Rejected

After tragedy, Reasonable Mind is often labeled cold, cruel, or inhuman.

That reaction is predictable.

Reasonable Mind threatens Emotion Mind’s attempt to regulate fear through certainty.

But without Reasonable Mind:

• causality disappears

• prevention becomes impossible

• everything turns into moral allegiance instead of analysis

DBT does not ask us to eliminate Emotion Mind.
It asks us not to let Emotion Mind run the system.

The Core Dialectic This Framework Holds

This framework rests on several truths that must coexist:

A woman is dead and agency still exists.
Fear explains behavior and does not erase responsibility.
Standards apply and human limitation matters.
Systems influence outcomes and individuals still choose.

If any one of these is removed, the analysis collapses.

Wise Mind is the capacity to hold all of them simultaneously without resolving the tension.

Why This Is So Hard

Dialectics are uncomfortable because they deny emotional closure.

Emotion Mind wants a clean story.
Reasonable Mind wants a clean rule.
Wise Mind allows neither.

Wise Mind tolerates:

• ambiguity

• discomfort

• unresolved questions

That tolerance is not emotional maturity.
It is cognitive discipline.

Wise Mind After Tragedy

I want to end this without resolution, because resolution is often a lie we tell ourselves to feel better.

Dialectics do not resolve tragedy. They prevent distortion.

Wise Mind does not ask you to excuse what happened.
It does not ask you to condemn everyone involved.
It asks you to stop collapsing reality when fear is present.

This was tragic.
It was avoidable.
Fear mattered.
Agency existed.
Standards still apply.

Those statements do not compete with each other. They belong together.

If this feels uncomfortable, that is not a failure of the framework. That is evidence you didn’t shortcut it.

Wise Mind after tragedy is not about being calm.
It is about being accurate when accuracy is hardest.

That is the work.