When Things Don’t Go as you Hoped or expected
Navigating Disruptions: How to Handle Plans Going Awry
Despite our best efforts in planning events, from crucial meetings to vacations, things can sometimes go off track. Such disruptions can be frustrating and disheartening. This guide explores why deviations from our plans can be distressing and offers strategies for managing these situations effectively. By embracing flexibility and focusing on solutions, you can better handle unexpected changes.
Understanding Why Deviations Upset Us
According to Meghan Marcum, PsyD, chief psychologist at AMFM Healthcare, people generally prefer having control over their scheduled activities. Predictability helps us mentally prepare for what's ahead. Even minor adjustments to plans can feel like a significant setback, as they may require us to alter or abandon our other plans. It's normal to feel stressed by such changes.
On a larger scale, life disruptions such as break-ups, job losses, health issues, or the death of a loved one can amplify these feelings of loss and lack of control. It’s natural to mourn what has been lost or what could have been. This grief can manifest in various ways, including fear, anxiety, sadness, or anger.
Effective Strategies for Coping with Disruptions
Here are some methods to help you manage when things don’t go as planned:
Examine Your Emotions: When plans go awry, you might experience a range of emotions such as anger, frustration, or anxiety. Taking a moment to reflect on why you feel this way can help you understand and manage these feelings more effectively.
Enhance Flexibility: When faced with a change, evaluate how it impacts you and consider whether you can adjust to the new circumstances. Instead of reacting impulsively, approach the situation calmly and assess your options. Often, you may find that you can adapt more easily than anticipated.
Focus on Solutions: Shift your attention to finding practical solutions. For example, if you’re waiting for someone who is late, use that time productively by catching up on work or making a call. This approach helps you make the most of unexpected delays.
Adjust Expectations: Perfectionism can be counterproductive. Setting realistic expectations and being open to adjusting them can help you manage changes more effectively and reduce stress.
Embrace Flexibility: Accepting that things might not go exactly as planned can be liberating. There are often multiple ways to achieve your goals, and being open to alternative methods can enhance your overall experience.
Seek Support: When facing challenges, don’t hesitate to reach out to colleagues, friends, or family. Their support and perspectives can provide valuable insights and help you navigate difficult situations.
Consult a Professional: If coping with changes proves particularly challenging, speaking with a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can assist you in exploring your emotional responses, addressing negative thought patterns, and developing effective coping strategies.
What to Avoid
In times of disruption, it’s crucial to steer clear of unproductive coping mechanisms:
Blaming Others: Avoid placing blame for the situation. This can lead to unresolved tension and hinder your ability to find solutions.
Avoiding Emotions: Ignoring or dismissing your feelings rather than addressing them can prolong stress and emotional discomfort.
Using Substances: Relying on substances to manage emotions can be harmful and counterproductive.
Conclusion
Feeling upset when things don’t go as planned is a common response, as uncertainty and lack of control can be stressful. By staying open to new approaches, focusing on solutions, and practicing flexibility, you can better manage these disruptions. If needed, seek support from loved ones or mental health professionals to help navigate these challenges.
